Cheshire Industries regrettably announces that, due to an unfortunate mishap with a malfunctioning Xyclone Confetti Cannon, Nay Nay's Candy Box has suffered irreparable damage to its structural integrity and fallen into ruin. As a result of this, Cheshire Industries' contract has been abruptly terminated and The Kyle is now officially unattached.
While this happenstance is regrettable, it is not without precedent, and Cheshire Industries has specialized for years in recovering from such catastrophes. Even as you read this, our cracker-jack surgical teams are working around the clock to repair the Kyle's broken foot, and soon everyone's favourite Mad Cheshire will be back to preforming his mega-awesome Happy-Happy-Joy-Joy Dance and ranting about the goblins that keep stealing his left socks.
In the meantime, we here at Cheshire Industries would be very much obliged to anyone who would mail back any of the confetti-sized pieces of The Kyle's shredded heart that they happen to come across. Thankee sai!
The preceding announcement has been brought to you by all those sappy, depressing Love songs you simply must listen to when you two-year relationship falls apart; and is sponsored by the hope that one day it'll all make sense; and is brought to you by the number 1. Thank you.
I am The Kyle and I approved this message!
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